A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the lady behind the wheel was knitting.
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yells, “PULL OVER!”
“NO,” she yelled back over the sound of the siren, “It’s a SCARF!”
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Jacob, who has always had a fear of needles, was sitting in the hospital waiting to get a vaccination.
When the nurse called him into the office to receive the injection, he nervously entered the room, sat down and broke into a cold sweat as he watched her prepare the needle.
He tried to concentrate on the most pleasurable things he could, hoping that would dull the pain he was about to suffer.
As the nurse approached him with the needle, she couldn’t help but notice his nervousness. In an attempt to comfort him, she said, “Don’t worry, it’s just a small prick.”
Jacob quickly jumped up, obviously upset. Startled by his reaction, but before she was able to say anything, Jacob yelled, “Just how many people has my wife been talking to?!?”
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A policeman pulled a blonde over after she’d been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: “Do you know where your going?”
Blonde: “No, but wherever it is, it must be bad ’cause all the people are leaving.
