A minister visited an asylum for the mentally disturbed and was taken on a tour of the facilities by one of the resident doctors.
Walking down the dismal, echoing corridors, the minister was troubled by the cries and groans of the patients coming from their rooms.
“I hope that I can be of some help and comfort to these poor souls,” he told the doctor.
The doctor stopped at a door, and they looked through the small window. “This is a sad case,” said the doctor.
The patient rocked back and forth on her cot, sobbing and sighing. “Peter,” she repeated over and over. “Oh, Peter!”
“She was to marry a man named Peter,” said the doctor. “And on their wedding day, he ran off with another woman. It broke her heart, and she went mad.”
They moved on to another door and looked in. Inside the patient was bound in a straitjacket, shrieking insanely, “Peter! Peter!”
“Let me guess,” said the minister. “She lost Peter also.”
“No,” answered the man. “She’s the one who got him!”
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Two men are in a lunatic asylum and one night, they decide they don’t like living in an asylum any more.
They decide they’re going to escape! They get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight to freedom.
The first man jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn’t dare make the leap, afraid of falling. So then, the first man has an idea…
He says, ‘Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I’ll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!’
The second man immediately spots the problem with this and shakes his head.
“What do you think I am? Crazy? You’d turn it off when I was half way across!”
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A very wealthy entrepreneur named John retired to the countryside.
On one of his long walks, he passed a Mental Institution, and behind the chain link fence, he saw the patients fighting ferociously with each other.
Hailing a man standing close to the fence, John asked what was going on.
The man replied, “This happens every day; there’s nothing else to do.”
So John went to see the director and offered to install a swimming pool at his expense. The director was very happy with the offer and accepted immediately.
Ten days later, John received a phone call from the director, requesting his presence the following day for the grand opening. Pleased, John accepted. He than decided to take a stroll out to the Institution to see how well the pool had been built.
As he approached the fence, he heard laughing and exited voices. A few yards later, he had a full view of a beautiful pool, complete with high tower diving boards, for which the patients were lining up to do cannonballs and swan dives.
Calling the same man at the fence, John said, “You guys like this, huh? I see no more fighting, isn’t this fun?”
The man replied, “Sure is, Mister, but tomorrow it’ll be even more fun when they put the water in it.”
