Grandma made such beautiful pies.
One day, I asked her, “How do you get such beautiful pies with the crimps around the edge so even?”
“Well, it’s a family secret,” she said. “But if you promise not to tell, I’ll let you in on it.”
“Okay,” I said. “Tell me!”
“Well, first, I roll out the dough, making sure it is flat and even. Then I cut out the bottom layer and carefully put it in the pie plate, making sure it is firmly against the sides of the plate.
“Then I slowly pour in the filling, making sure it’s not too full.
“Next, I cut out the top layer and carefully put it over the filling.
“Finally, I take out my teeth and just run them around the edge of the pie crust, and they make the nicest even impressions you ever did see!”
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The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn’t speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came running up to Grandma and said, “Hi Grandma, you’re looking good! How are they treating you?”
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew, “They won’t let me fart.”
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
