Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger.
When he came to Einstein, Einstein reached into his vest pocket. He couldn’t find his ticket, so he reached into his trouser pockets. It wasn’t there, so he looked in his briefcase but couldn’t find it. Then he looked in the seat beside him. He still couldn’t find it.
The conductor said, “Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who you are. I’m sure you bought a ticket. Don’t worry about it.”
Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle, punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking under his seat for his ticket.
The conductor rushed back and said, “Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don’t worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don’t need a ticket. I’m sure you bought one.”
Einstein looked at him and said, “Young man, I, too, know who I am. What I don’t know is where I’m going.”
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Albert Einstein
was getting bored with making the same speech over and over again in different meetings, so one night after a long day, his chauffeur jokingly said, ‘I’ve heard your speech so many times that I know it word for word. Why don’t you take the night off and let me deliver the talk this evening?’ Einstein agreed.
When they arrived at the venue, Einstein put on the chauffeur’s uniform and hat, and sat at the back of the hall while the chauffeur took his place on the podium, effortlessly delivering the speech, then inviting the audience to ask questions.
He convincingly answered the first few, but then one pompous man stood up and asked a very difficult question on his theories of relativity.
The chauffeur was flummoxed, but calmly said, ‘This question is very easy. I will let my chauffeur answer it.’
