An Airbus 380 is on its way across the Atlantic.
It flies consistently at 800 km/h at 30,000 feet, when suddenly a Eurofighter with a Tempo Mach 2 appears.
The pilot of the fighter jet slows down, flies alongside the Airbus and greets the pilot of the passenger plane by radio, “Airbus, boring flight isn’t it? Now have a look here!”
He rolls his jet on its back, accelerates, breaks through the sound barrier, rises rapidly to a dizzying height, and then swoops down almost to sea level in a breathtaking dive. He loops back next to the Airbus and asks, “Well, how was that?”
The Airbus pilot answers, “Very impressive, but watch this!” The jet pilot watches the Airbus, but nothing happens. It continues to fly straight, at the same speed. After 15 minutes, the Airbus pilot radios, “Well, how was that?”
Confused, the jet pilot asks, “What did you do?”
The AirBus pilot laughs and says, “I got up, stretched my legs, walked to the back of the aircraft to use the washroom, then got a cup of coffee and a chocolate fudge pastry.”
The moral of the story is: When you’re young, speed and adrenaline seems to be great. But as you get older and wiser, you learn that comfort and peace are more important.
This is called S.O.S.: Slower, Older and Smarter.
Dedicated to old fellas – it’s time to slow down and enjoy the rest of the trip.
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An airline pilot with poor eyesight managed to pass his periodic vision exams by memorizing the eye charts beforehand.
One year, though, his doctor used a new chart that the pilot had never before seen. The pilot proceeded to recite the old chart and the doctor realized that he`d been suckered all these years.
Then the doctor could not contain his curiosity. “How is it that someone with your eyesight can manage to pilot a plane at all? I mean, how for example do you taxi the plane out to the runway?”
“Well,” said the pilot, “it`s really not very hard. All you have to do is follow the instructions of the ground controller over the radio. And besides, the landmarks have all become quite familiar to me over the years.”
“I can understand that,” replied the doctor. “But what about the take- off?”
“Again, a simple procedure. I just aim the plane down the runway, go to full throttle, pull back on the stick, and off we go!”
“But once you`re aloft?”
“Oh, everything`s fully automated these days. The flight computer knows our destination, and all I have to do is hit the auto-pilot and the plane pretty much flies itself.”
“But I still don`t see how you land!”
“Oh, that`s the easiest part of all. All I do is use the airport`s radio beacon to get us on the proper glide path. Then I just throttle down and wait for the co-pilot to yell, `AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!`, then I will pull the nose up, and the plane lands just fine!”
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[first day as a pilot]
Control tower: What are your coordinates?
Me: I’m by a cloud that looks like a lion.
Control tower: Can you be more specific?
Me: Simba.
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A plane takes off with two hours delay.
Once in the air a passenger asks the flight attendant:
“Why did we take off so late?”
To which the flight attendant replies:
“Well, the pilot noticed some smoke and weird noises coming from the left engine and it took us a while to find another pilot willing to fly this plane.”
