A very devout man who was very overweight decided to go on a diet.
One of his main problems with eating was that he would stop for donuts every morning on the way to work. So to make things easier for himself, he changed his route to work to avoid the temptation of stopping.
As the weeks went by he started losing a lot of weight and was receiving compliments from his friends and co-workers.
Then one morning without thinking, he accidentally turned onto the road which would take him by the donut shop.
At first he was going to turn around but then he thought to himself, “Maybe the Lord is rewarding me for my efforts”.
So, he said a short prayer telling the Lord that if this was His true intention let there be an open parking place directly in front of the shop.
And sure enough, on the fifth time around the block there was an open spot right up front.
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A heavyset guy sees an ad that reads
“Lose weight. Only $10 a pound. Call (202) 555-0238” and decides to make the call. The operator asks, “How much weight do you want to lose?”
“Five pounds,” he replies.
“We’ll have a representative over in the morning,” says the operator.
About 9 a.m., there’s a knock on the door. There stands a fairly good-looking girl, scantily-clad with a sign around her neck reading “If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me”.
The hefty fellow chases her upstairs, downstairs, and all around the house. Finally, panting and wheezing, he catches her. And he has her. After that, he runs to the bathroom and weighs himself. He’s lost 5 pounds!
That night he calls the number again and says, “I want to lose 10 pounds.”
“We’ll send someone over.”
The next morning, he’s greeted by a gorgeous girl dressed only in track shoes and wearing a sign around her neck that reads “If You Catch Me, You Can Have Me”. The chase takes a good while longer this time, but later he finds he’s lost 10 pounds!
That night he calls and says, “I want to lose 20 pounds!”
“Twenty pounds?” the operator asks. “That’s an awful lot.”
The man replies, “Listen, just take care of it!”
About 7 a.m. the man hears a knock and opens the door. Outside stands an enormous gorilla with a sign around its neck that reads “If I Catch You, I Can Have You”.
