A school teacher asked her students to make a sentence containing the expression “I presume”.
One little girl held up her hand and said, “Yesterday my mother hand washed the dinner dishes and I presumed that the dishwasher was broken.”
“Very good” said the teacher.
Another one said, “This morning, my father drove the Volkswagen out of the garage, I presume that the BMW wouldn’t start.”
“That’s excellent,” says the teacher.
Little Johnny at the back of the classroom gets up and says, “Yesterday I saw grandpa leave the house with a newspaper under his arm and headed for the bush, I presume that…….”
The teacher interrupted him and said, “I stopped you because you have no idea what your grandfather was going to do, so you can’t presume anything.”
Johnny says, “Please Teacher, let me finish my sentence.”
The teacher says, “Very well. Continue.”
“As I was saying, I saw my grandpa heading for the bush with a newspaper under his arm. I presume he was going for a crap because he can’t read.”
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One day during school, a 2nd grade teacher was in the middle of a math lesson.
Suddenly a little girl named Susie stood up and yelled, “Teacher, teacher! Can I go to the potty, I have to pee!”
The teacher calmly replied, “Susie, we don’t say ‘pee,’ we say ‘number one.’ Yes, you may go.”
A few minutes later a little boy named Billy stood up, started jumping up and down yelling, “Teacher! Can I go to the bathroom? I really gotta poop!”
The teacher firmly replied, “Billy, we don’t say ‘poop,’ we say ‘number two.’ Go ahead.”
About half an hour later Little Johnny, who had been listening to what she said, stood up and yelled, “Teacher, Teacher! Give me a number quick, cause I really gotta fart!”
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Not Easy To Be A Teacher
Teacher: Construct a sentence using the word sugar.
Pupil: I drank tea this morning.
Teacher: Where is the word sugar.
Pupil: It is already in the tea…!!!
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TEACHER: Our topic for today is Photosynthesis.
TEACHER: Class, what is photosynthesis?
Student: Photosynthesis is our topic today.
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TEACHER: John is climbing a tree to pick some mangoes. (Begin the sentence with Mangoes)
Student: Mangoes, John is coming to pick you…
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TEACHER: What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
Student: We don’t call them, they come on their own…
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TEACHER: Name the nation, people hate most.
Student: Exami-nation…
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TEACHER: How can we keep our school clean?
Student: By staying at home…
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TEACHER: One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
Student: Future impossible tense…
