A preacher was making a wooden trellis to support a climbing vine.
As he was pounding away, he noticed that a little boy was watching him.
The youngster did not say a word, so the preacher kept working. He was sure the lad would soon leave but he didn’t.
Pleased at the thought that his work was being admired, the preacher finally said, “Well, son, trying to pick up some pointers on carpentry work?”
“Nope. I’m just waiting to hear what a preacher says when he hits his thumb with a hammer.”
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A young preacher was asked by the local funeral director
to hold a graveside burial service at a small local cemetery for someone with no family or friends. The preacher started early but quickly got himself lost, making several wrong turns. Eventually, a half-hour late, he saw a backhoe and its crew, but the hearse was nowhere in sight, and the workmen were eating lunch.
The diligent young pastor went to the open grave and found the vault lid already in place.
Taking out his book, he read the service. Feeling guilty because of his tardiness, he preached an impassioned and lengthy service, sending the deceased to the great beyond in style.
As he was returning to his car, he overheard one of the workmen say: “I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years and I ain’t never seen anything like that.”
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A child from a poor family wanted a bike for Christmas, so he asked his mother.
His mother replied, “Well, we can’t afford one so you’ll just have to go ask the baby Jesus.”
The boy went to his room, got a stack of refill and a pen and began writing: “Dear Baby Jesus, I’ve been good all year, can you please give me a bike for Christmas.”
Then he looked at it and thought maybe that wasn’t entirely true, so he tried again. “Dear Baby Jesus, I’ve been good for the past week, can you please give me a bike for Christmas.”
Then he looked at it again and still wasn’t sure if that was true, so he tried yet again. “Dear Baby Jesus, if you give me a bike, I’ll be good all year.”
But even then that seemed too hard, so he took a walk outside to think about it. As he was walking, he saw his neighbor’s statue of Mother Mary. The boy hopped over the fence, tucked it under his shoulder and ran home to hide it.
Then wrote his letter again. “Dear Baby Jesus, if you ever want to see your mother again, give me a bike!”
