A man was riding on a crowded bus, standing room only.
The bus stopped, and an elderly lady got on carrying a large picnic basket. She stood right in front of the man and grabbed the overhead rail so the picnic basket was above the man’s head.
Being a gentleman, he offered his seat to her. She quickly declined as she was only going a short distance.
Soon, the picnic basket began to leak. The man felt something drop on top of his head. As he looked up, it hit beside his nose and ran down across his lips.
He tasted it, looked up at the lady, and asked, “Pickles?”
She replied, “No, no, puppies.”
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A man is sitting next to a woman who’s trying to br3ast-feed her baby on a bus.
The baby refuses to suck the br3ast & the mother warns, “If you don’t suck, I shall give it to the uncle next to me.”
The baby still refuses. After about 20 minutes, the woman repeats the threat.
The man clears his throat and says, “Look, madam, you’d better make up your mind. I was supposed to get off six bus stops ago.”
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A bus stops and two Italian men get on.
They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation.
The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
“Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Den I come one lasta time.”
“You foul-mouthed swine,” retorted the lady indignantly. “In this country we don’t talk about our s*x lives in public!”
“Hey, coola down lady,” said the man. “Who talking abouta s.e.xa? Imma justa tellun my frienda how to spella “Mississippi”!
