A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application.
The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant has been fired from every job he has ever held.
“I must say,” says the executive, “your work history is terrible. You’ve been fired from every job.”
“Yes,” says the man.
“Well,” continues the executive, “there’s not much positive in that.”
“Hey!” says the guy as he pokes the application. “At least I’m not a quitter.”
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A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits.
The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee’s pay.
She said, “My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five years salary for life insurance and a month’s sick leave AND they paid the full premiums.”
“I can’t help but asking madam why you would leave a job with such benefits,” the interviewer replied.
The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, “The company went bankrupt.”
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Jonathan Hale applied for a job as an insurance salesman.
Where the form requested “prior experience” he wrote “lifeguard.” The lead recruiter, Ms. Evelyn Hartley, adjusted her reading glasses and stared at the single line typed in the “Prior Experience” section:
Experience: Lifeguard.
No dates. No location. No glowing testimonials or metrics of past performance. Just one stark word.
Evelyn looked up. “Mr. Hale,” she began with polite formality, “this role requires resilience, persuasion, and the ability to gain trust quickly. We’re looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell themselves. You put down… lifeguard. That’s it.”
Jonathan gave a calm nod. “That’s right.”
“How does that qualify you to sit across this table?” she asked, skepticism lacing her voice.
He leaned forward, folding his hands. “May I tell you a story?”
The panel exchanged glances. Evelyn gestured slightly, permitting him to go on.
“I was seventeen. Needed a summer job. There was an opening at the city pool for a lifeguard. I’d never done it before, but I needed the money and I needed the chance.”
“And were you certified?” asked one of the panelists.
He smiled. “No.”
“You’d been a strong swimmer, then?”
He paused, his smile deepening into something almost… confessional. “I didn’t know how to swim at all.”
He got the job.
