A guy walks into a bar looking frustrated.
The bartender asks, “What’s the matter?”
The guy replies, “Well, I’ve got these two horses, and I can’t tell them apart. I don’t know if I’m mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods.”
The bartender suggests, “Why don’t you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?”
The guy says, “That sounds like a good idea. I think I’ll try it.”
A few months later, he returns to the bar in worse condition. “I shaved the tail of one of the horses, but it grew back, and I can’t tell them apart again!”
The bartender says, “Why don’t you try shaving the mane?”
A few months later, the guy is back. “I shaved the mane of one of the horses, but it grew back!”
The bartender yells, “Just measure the damn horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller than the other one!” The guy storms out of the bar.
The next day, the guy runs into the bar. “It worked, it worked!” he exclaims. “I measured the horses, and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!”
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There is this corner bar that has three entrances, one on each street, and one on the corner.
A drunk walks into one entrance, and bartender refuses to serve him, telling him he is too drunk.
So, the drunk leaves, stumbles down to the corner where he finds the second entrance. He enters again, and is refused service again. He stares at the bartender, falls back out into the street, turns the corner, and finds the third entrance.
He goes back into the bar, sees the bartender, and stops dead in his tracks.
After studying the bartender for a long moment, he exclaims, “Good grief! Do you own all the bars in town?”
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A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show.
On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner, Liam.
After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $5,000 for the duck and the pot.
Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger,
“Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn`t dance a single step!”
“Well,” said Banta, “Did you remember to light a candle under the pot?”
