A group of Canadians were travelling by tour bus through Holland.
As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through a process of cheese making, explaining that goat’s milk was used.
She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produced.
She then asked, “What do you do in Canada with your old goats that aren’t producing?”
A spry old gentleman answered, “They send us on bus tours.”
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A scouser was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada.
He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face.
“Who`s he?” asked the scouser.
“That`s the Memory Man.” said the bartender.
“He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember any fact he experiences. Go and try him out.”
So the scouser goes over, and thinking he won`t know about English football, asks “Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?”.
“Liverpool” replies the Memory Man.
“Who did they beat?”
“Leeds” was the instant reply.
“And the score?”
“2-1”
“Who scored the winning goal?”
“Ian St. John” was the old man`s reply, without a hint of hesitation.
The scouser was knocked out by this and told everyone back home about the Memory Man when he got back. A few years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Indian only this time he was older and even more wrinkled. Because he was so impressed the scouser decided to greet the Indian in his native tongue.
He approached him with the greeting “How”.
The Memory man looked up and replied…..“Diving header in the six yard box”.
