A blonde phoned the police to report that a thief had been in her car.
“They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” she cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.
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“Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake.”
A bum asked a man to give him $2 for dinner
A man was walking in the city when he was accosted by a particularly bum who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted two dollars, and asked, “If I gave you this money, will you take it and buy whiskey?”
“No, I stopped drinking years ago,” the bum said.
“Will you use it to gamble?”
“I don’t gamble. I need everything I can get just to stay alive.”
“Will you spend the money on golf?”
“I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
The man said, “Instead of giving you $2, I’m going to take you to my home for a dinner cooked by my wife.”
The bum was surprised. “Won’t your wife be angry with you for bringing me to your home? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty bad.”
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The man replied, “That’s okay. I just want her to see what a man who’s given up drinking, gambling, and golf looks like.”
LoLLLL, did you laugh? did you read this joke before?
