A student comes to a young professor’s office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
“I would do ‘Anything’ to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
“I mean,” she whispers, “I would do… ‘Anything.'”
He returns her gaze, “Anything?”
“Anything!”
His voice softens…. “Anything??”
“Anything…”
His voice turns to a whisper: “Would you… Study?”
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A statistics professor was describing sampling theory to his class, explaining how a sample can be studied and used to generalize to a population.
One of the students in the back of the room kept shaking his head.
“What’s the matter?” asked the professor. “I don’t believe it,” said the student, “why not study the whole population in the first place?”
The professor continued explaining the ideas of random and representative samples. The student still shook his head. The professor launched into the mechanics of proportional stratified samples, randomized cluster sampling, the standard error of the mean, and the central limit theorem.
The student remained unconvinced saying, “Too much theory, too risky, I couldn’t trust just a few numbers in place of ALL of them.”
Attempting a more practical example, the professor then explained the scientific rigor and meticulous sample selection of the Nielsen television ratings which are used to determine how multiple millions of advertising dollars are spent.
The student remained unimpressed saying, “You mean that just a sample of a few thousand can tell us exactly what over 250 MILLION people are doing?”
Finally, the professor, somewhat disgruntled with the skepticism, replied, “Well, the next time you go to the campus clinic and they want to do a blood test…tell them that’s not good enough …tell them to TAKE IT ALL!!”
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Will the Morons Please Stand Up.
One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?”
After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.
“Well, good morning. So, you actually think you’re a moron?” the professor asked.
The kid replied, “No sir, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”
