Jay’s father comes home from his doctor and, though usually quite active with his grand-children, seems to make every effort to avoid them this day.
Jay notices his dad avoiding the kids and asks him why this is so.
Immediately the old man whisks his medicine prescription out of his pocket and hands it to Jay.
His father said, “Read that label. That’s why!”
Jay takes the bottle and reads, “Take two pills a day. KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN.”
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While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students.
“As you can see,” she says, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?”
“Well,” ponders the student, “I suppose I’d limp too.”
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Harris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, “You’re really doing great, aren’t you?”
Harris replied: “Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.”
The doctor said, “I didn’t say that. I said, You’ve got a heart murmur – be careful.”
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An eminent doctor goes for a meal in a gourmet restaurant.
As he is inspecting the menu, the head waiter appears and tries to be particularly helpful.
“You might be interested to know that I have pickled liver, braised kidneys, and stewed tongue.”
“Sounds terrible,” says the doctor. “Call my assistant and make an appointment for tomorrow. Right now, I’ll have the fish.”
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Oliver`s wife, Amelia, and kids all came down with the flu.
Upon returning home from the pediatrician`s office with his four kids, he turned his attention to his ailing wife.
After preparing some chicken soup for her, he picked up the phone to call her doctor.
The receptionist picked up and he related the situation to her. She then told him that the office was going to be closed for a couple of days, but that his wife could have an appointment in 3 days.
Oliver went ballistic and yelled into the phone, “Three days?! The doctor can`t see her for three days?! She could be dead by then!”
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, “If so, would you please call to cancel the appointment?”
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For two solid hours,
the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.
She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.
“Oh, I’ve done all the talking, and I’m so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me… what do you think of my grandchildren?”
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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?”
Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.”
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
