Once upon a time, my wife and I were in the local restaurant.
We have talked to each other, but after a while, I have become quiet and then I started to talk, I have said: “You know, I love you so much, I will never leave you, never, ever, every single day I think only of you, we will be always together.”
My wife has asked me: “Oh, darling, these words were addressed to me?”
I have said only: “Oh, no, sorry, darling, this time I am talking to this bottle of beer.”
Machine and Bottle.
After the birth of their first child Tom and Sarah decided it was time to write a will and get their affairs in order.
They went to a lawyer and outlined for him their ideas about how their estate should be handled.
The lawyer then asked them questions about what medical means should be employed should they become severely injured.
Tom spoke up, “I don’t want my life regulated by some machine. I just can’t stand the idea of receiving my nourishment from a bottle.”
Sarah took Tom’s words to heart. When they got home, she cut the TV cord and dumped out all of Tom’s beer.
Wife: “Tell me something nice.”
Husband: “I’ll go to the fridge and get me some beer.”
Wife: “No, I mean about me.”
Husband: “You’ll go to the fridge and get me some beer.”
Michael’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old,
goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asks her husband – “Darling, honestly, if you didn’t know me, what age would you say I am?”
Looking over her carefully, Michael replied…
“Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.”
“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed.
Just as she was about to tell Michael his reward, he stops her by saying:
“WHOA, hold on there sweetie… I haven’t added them up yet!”
P.S – Please let us know if you’ve seen him, we’re very worried.
