Joe decides to take his boss Phil to play 9 holes on their lunch.
While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace.
Joe offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about half of the way there stops and jogs back.
His boss asks what the problem is.
“Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress,” complained Joe.
Phil just shook his head at Joe and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Preparing to ask the ladies to speed up their game, he too stopped short and turned around.
Joe asked, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s a small, small world Joe, and you’re fired.”
A married man was visiting his mistress when she requested that he shave his beard.
“Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face.”
James replied, “My wife loves this beard, I couldn’t possibly do it, she’d k*ll me!”
“Oh, please?” the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice.
“Oh, really, I can’t,” he replies. “My wife loves this beard!”
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night, James crawls into bed with his wife while she’s sleeping.
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, “Oh, Michael, you shouldn’t be here, my husband will be home soon.”
A new widowed requested the epitaph ‘Rest in Peace’ for her husband’s tombstone.
When she later found he had left his fortune to his mistress, she attempted to get the engraver to change the carving.
This was impossible, the words were chiseled and could not be changed.
“In that case,” she said. “Please add ‘Till We Meet Again’.”
As a man grew a beard his wife said,
“That beard looks ugly.”
He replied, “I’m growing a beard to keep the girls away.”
She laughed, “There aren’t any girls around.”
“There,” he quipped, “it’s working already.”
