In the midst of a hectic day at the office, John got a phone call from his friend Paul.
Paul: John, I just bought an expensive diamond ring for my wife. I hope this won’t break up our long friendship?
John: Hey Paul! Have you gone crazy? Why should your buying your wife an expensive diamond ring break up our friendship? After all, you are not taking it to my wife.
Paul: But my wife is taking it to your wife; she’s over to your house right now, showing it to your wife.
A lady walks into Harrods.
She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her – Good looking as well.
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods.
He politely greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little ‘incident’, she asks, ‘what is the price of this lovely bracelet?’
He answers, “Madam – if you farted just looking at it – you’re going to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price!”
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”
The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say: “So, how long have you been wearing one?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”
