Sandy, an older woman in her sixties, has a near-death experience on the operating table. She sees God who tells her not to worry she has at least another thirty years to live.
Sandy decides she’s any way in the hospital and she had another thirty years to live, she should make the most of it. She has plastic surgery on her face, Botox, and breast augmentation.
A few weeks later she’s crossing the street and gets hit by a car, immediately she meets God in heaven. She asked:
“I don’t understand,” she says to God “You said I had another thirty years?”
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God answers her, “OHHHHHH, I didn’t recognize you.”
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A man walks into a barbershop to have a shave and shoeshine
A man walks into a barbershop and says, “I’ll have a shave and a shoeshine.”
The barber lathers his face and sharpens the straight edge while a gorgeous woman kneels down and shines his shoes.
The man says, “Hi there. You know, would you like to spend time with me in a nice place.”
She replies, “My husband wouldn’t like that.”
The man says, “Tell him you’re working overtime, I’ll give you more money”
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She says, “You tell him. He’s the one shaving you.”
