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A chemistry teacher put a $20 bill in a bottle of ethanol

For an experiment, a chemistry teacher takes out a $20 bill and put it in a bottle of ethanol. He then asks his students if it will dissolve.

A student raises his hand to answer.

Student: No it won’t dissolve sir.

Teacher: Really good! Now can you explain to the rest of the class why?

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Student: You’re so cheap, there’s no way you would’ve sacrificed that $20.

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A daughter asked her mom for a baby picture

One day, my daughter asked me, “Mom, do you have a baby picture of yourself? I have a school project and I need it”

I gave her one without thinking to ask what the project was.

A few days later I was in her classroom for a parent-teacher meeting when I noticed my face pinned to a mural the students had created.

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The title of their project was “The oldest thing in my house.”

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