A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests.
He goes over to the first priest and says, “Dude, I’m Jesus Christ!”
And the priest says, “No son, you’re not.”
So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says, “Man, I’m Jesus Christ!”
Then the priest says, “No son, you’re not.”
Finally, the drunk had enough and said, “Here, I’ll prove it.” He walks back into the bar with both priests and the bartender looks up and sees the drunk and says, “Jesus Christ, you’re back AGAIN?”
A blonde saw another blonde in a field rowing a boat.
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke.
A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat.
The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, “You dumb blonde bimbo!
It’s blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”