A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength.
He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had enough.
‘Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,’ he said. ‘I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won’t be able to wheel back.’
‘You’re on, old man,’ the braggart replied. ‘Let’s see you do it.’
The old man reached out, grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles, and said, ‘All right, young man, get in.’
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A retired older couple return to a Mercedes dealership
where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.
The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply.
“Young man, I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $55,000 asking price,” said the older man.
“Yet I just heard you closed the deal for $40,000 to the lovely young lady there.”
“And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no way you could discount this model.”
The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water.
“Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn’t need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?”, replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
“There you go, dad” she said. “I told you I could get that idiot to lower the price.”.
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Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
I am in shape; round is a shape.
Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
Stupidity got us into this mess; why can’t it get us out?
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just stand there.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually, you find a hair stylist you like.
You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stopped laughing.
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A man goes on a trip to the desert.
At one point, he walks off alone, and suddenly stumbles upon an old lamp. It’s old but may bring a few bits, he rubs the lamp and is amazed when a genie pops out!
The genie says that he will grant the man only one wish, and that he has to pick from three choices. He can either be the richest man in the world, the most popular man in the world, or the wisest man in the world.
The man says “We all know that money does not bring happiness, and that popularity just makes you a slave to the whims of others, but wisdom is everlasting. I want to be the wisest man in the world.”
The Genie goes “poof” and suddenly the man’s face assumes a serene expression. He sits down, rubbing his chin in thought.
Then he looks towards the genie and says, “I should have taken the money”.
