A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy.
The brunette replied, “I think I’ll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?”
The blonde said, “I think I’m gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it.”
A blond, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.
Suddenly a genie appears to them and says “I will grant you each one wish if you’ll jump off the side of this cliff.”
So the redhead jumps off and shouts “Seagull” and turns into a seagull and flies away.
Then the brunette jumps off and shouts “Whale” and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.
Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out “Shit”
A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility.
But each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendant’s ladies room, but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons.
The buttons were marked “WW, WA, PP and ATR”.
Making the mistake soooo many men make of not listening to a woman, he disregarded what she said when his curiosity got the best of him.
He carefully pressed the first button marked “WW” and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, “WOW, the women really have it made!”.
Still curious, he pressed the button marked “WA” and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. “This is amazing!” he thought, “Men’s rooms having nothing like this!”
He then pressed the button marked “PP”, which yielded a large powder puff that delicately applied a soft talc to his rear. Well, naturally he couldn’t resist the last button marked “ATR”, and then everything went black. When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse.
When she appeared, he cried out, “What happened to me? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies’ room on a plane.”
The nurse replied, “Yes, I’m sure you were having a great time until you pressed the ‘AIR’ button, which stands for ‘Automatic Tampon Remover.'”
