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Two falcons are watching an air show

Two falcons are watching an air show where fighter pilots are racing their jets against one another.

One falcon turns to the other and says, “Man, I thought we were fast, but those guys are insane.

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The second falcon turns back and says, “You’d also fly that fast if your ass was on fire.”

A blonde tries on a pair of shoes

A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes.

“How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk.

“Well, they feel a bit tight,” replies the blonde.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the blonde’s feet.

“Try pulling the tongue out,” offers the clerk.

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“Nath, they still feelth a bit tight,” the blonde replies.

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