Two American men are touring Europe, and are scheduled to arrive in France Sunday afternoon.
However, they arrived several hours early, and had little to do on Sunday morning while everything was closed.
“Well,” one says to the other, pointing to a nearby Cathedral, “why don’t we attend Mass?”
“Sure,” replies his friend. “But we don’t know how the French pray and we can’t speak French!”
The first guy thinks of a solution. “We’ll pick a guy in front of us, and whatever he does, we’ll do.”
His friend agrees. They enter the church, sit close to the front, and choose a guy.
Fifteen minutes pass, and their plan is working well. Thirty minutes, no issues.
By the time forty-five minutes pass, they’ve gotten used to the routine. Suddenly, while everyone is seated, the priest says something in French and the gentleman they chose stands up. Without thinking, the two Americans stand up as well.
The church bursts into hard laughter.
Realizing that no one else is standing up, the two American men leave in embarrassment. They wait for the Mass to end, and then approach the priest, who spoke English.
“We’re well-meaning people- we don’t speak French and just chose some guy to imitate while praying,” one says.
The priest chuckles. “Ah. You’re probably wondering why everyone laughed at you.”
“Yes,” replied the other American.
“Well, you see, I announced the Baptism of a child… and asked for the father of the child to stand up.”
One recent Sunday, a young boy arrived to his Sunday school class late.
His teacher knew that the boy was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong. The boy replied no, that he was going to go fishing, but that his dad told him that he needed to go to church instead.
The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his father had explained to him why it was more important to go to church rather than to go fishing.
To which the boy replied, “Yes, ma’am, he did. My dad said that he didn’t have enough bait for both of us.”
A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.
“Mommy,” she said, “can we leave now?”
“No,” her mother replied.
“Well, I think I have to throw up!” exclaimed the girl.
“Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush,” said her mother.
After about sixty seconds, the little girl returned to her seat. “Did you throw up?” her mother asked.
“Yes,” the little girl replied.
“How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?” her mother asked.
“I didn’t have to go out of the church, Mommy.” Smiled her little girl proudly. “They have a box next to the front door that says:
‘For the Sick.’
