Two 80-year-old men are driving down the road when they hear the Ex-Lax commercial end with the statement: “It makes you feel young again.”
John looks at Sylvester and says, “We need to pull over and get a bottle of that stuff!”
Sylvester agrees, and the two old men pull over and get a bottle of Ex-Lax. They both take two tablespoons each and continue to drive.
About one mile later, Sylvester asks, “Well, John, do you feel young yet?”
“No,” replies John.
So they pull over and take four more tablespoons a piece and continue to drive down the road.
A couple of miles later, Sylvester asks, “John, do you feel younger?”
“No,” replies John, “but I sure did a childish thing!”
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Don’t mess with an old man
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: “Get your treatment for $500 – if not cured, get back $1,000.”
Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.
He went to Dr Geezer’s clinic and this is what happened.
Dr Young: “Dr Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?
Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr Young’s mouth.”
Dr Young: “Aaagh! This is Gasoline!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: “I have lost my memory and I cannot remember anything.”
Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr Young: “Oh no you don’t, that’s Gasoline!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr Young: “My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!”
Dr Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that. Here’s your $1000 back.”
Dr Young: “But this is only $500!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You have got your vision back! That will be $500.”
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A young lady was waiting for her flight in the boarding room of a big airport.
As she would need to wait for a long time, she decided to buy a book to read and a packet of cookies to snack on.
She sat down in an armchair in the VIP room of the airport to relax and read in peace.
A man sat down in the next seat, opened his magazine and started reading.
When she took out the first cookie, the man took one also.
She felt irritated but said nothing.
She just thought: “What a nerve! If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”
For each cookie she took, the man took one too.
This was infuriating her but she didn’t want to cause a scene.
When only one cookie remained, she thought: “Aaah… What will this rude man do now?”
Then the man, taking the last cookie, divided it into half, giving her one-half.
That was too much! She was really angry now.
In a huff, she took her book, the rest of her things and stormed off to the boarding place.
For the next hours, she found it hard to forget what happened.
She couldn’t even focus reading her book.
How dare that guy, right?
When she sat down in her seat on the plane, she looked into her purse to take out her reading glasses, and to her surprise, her packet of cookies was there, untouched and unopened. She felt so ashamed.
She realized that she was wrong.
She had forgotten that her cookies were kept in her purse.
The man had divided his cookies with her, without feeling angered or bitter, while she had been very angry, thinking that she was dividing her cookies with him.
