Three police officers were standing in line at the Pearly Gates
Saint Peter asked the first officer, “What did you do with your life?”
“I was a police officer,” he responded.
“What kind of police officer?” Saint Peter asked.
“I was a vice officer. I kept drugs off the streets and out of the hands of kids.”
“Welcome to heaven You may end the gates.”
He asked the second man what he did as a police officer.
“I was a traffic officer,” said the man.
“I kept the roads and highways safe.”
“Welcome to heaven. You may enter the gates.”
He asked the third man what he did as a police officer.
“I was a military policeman, sir,” replied the man.
“Wonderful! I’ve been waiting for you all day!” replied Saint Peter.
…
..
.
“I need to take a break! Watch the gate, will you?
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, “What’s the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburetor”
…
..
.
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
