There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever.
Finally, the customer behind me muttered, “Mr. Hare must be on vacation.”
Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register.
It read: “Mr. Turtle, sales associate.”
Once there were three turtles.
One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn’t eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, “Oh, come on, let’s eat the sandwiches.”
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, “If you do, I won’t go!”
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air and crashed to the ground.
After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate, “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”
Two women realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.
“Help, help!” yells one of the women.
“Help us, help us!” yells the other.
“Maybe it would help if we yell together,” said the first.
“Good idea,” said the other.
“TOGETHER, TOGETHER!”
Irish Bobby appeared on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” and towards the end of the program had already won $500,000.
“You’ve done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show’s presenter, “but you’ve only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?”
“Sure,” said Bobby. “I’ll have a go!”
“Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
a) Sparrow
b) Swallow
c) Blackbird
d) Cuckoo?”
“I haven’t got a clue,” said Bobby, ”so I’ll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Billy.”
Bobby called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
“Hell, Bobby!” cried Billy. “That’s simple. It’s a cuckoo.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
Bobby hung up the phone and told Chris, “I’ll go with cuckoo as my answer.”
“Is that your final answer?” asked Chris.
“That it is.”
There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, “Cuckoo is the correct answer! Bobby, you’ve won $1 million!”
The next night, Bobby invited Billy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
“Tell me, Billy? How in Heaven’s name did you know it was Cuckoo that doesn’t build its own nest? You’re no bird expert!”
“Well Bobby you idiot,” said Billy, “Because everyone knows he lives in a clock!”
