A blonde gets a job painting lines on the highway.
At the end of the first day, her supervisor is impressed. “Wow!” he says. “You did eight miles today! That’s amazing!”
The second day, the blonde’s production is down to four miles. “Still pretty darn good,” the supervisor says.
On the third day, the blonde only does two miles. The supervisor calls her into the office.
“What’s going on?” he asks. “The first day you did great with eight miles, then yesterday you were down to four, and today you only managed two. What’s the problem?”
The blonde rolls her eyes and says “Duh! The paint bucket keeps getting farther away!”
A blond had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
“My God!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?”
“Yes, officer, I’m just fine.” the blond chirped.
“Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
“Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the blond began.
“I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was…”
“Uh, ma’am?”, the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth.”
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes
and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said… FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
