The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist,
“You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly.”
On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, “Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?”
“Yes”, the boy’s mother answered.
“And how is your son now?” the psychiatrist asked.
“Who cares?” the mother replied.
A psychiatrist’s secretary walked into his study and said,
“There’s a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he’s invisible.”
The psychiatrist responded, “Tell him I can’t see him.”
This mother’s day, Men all around were criticized for not calling their mothers on such an important day.
But me, I thought of the best way to get out of such a mess.
Heres how the beginning of the Monday after Mother’s Day went for me:
Mother: “You know Mike, I was thinking and out of all my sons, you never called me on Mother’s Day!”
Me: “You know Mom, I was thinking, and out of all my mothers, you never called me on SON-day!”
Something like this is bound to make her smile and forget, worked with my Mom!
An old mountaineer and his young ex-wife were fighting over custody of their children.
The mother protested that since she brought her kids into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The judge asked the old mountaineer for his side of the story.
After a long moment of silence, the mountaineer rose from his chair and asked, “Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?”
