A man goes to the station to catch the train.
He finds a machine there with the sign “Put a dollar in the slot and the machine will tell you who you are”.
Curious, he inserts a dollar inside the slot and waits. The machine suddenly says, “You’re John Bull from New York; an accountant; 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You’re about to take the 2:30 train to Chicago.”
The man blacks out with the machine’s ability, so he decides to trick the machine. He wears a fake moustache and inserts another dollar inside the slot. “You’re John Bull from New York; an accountant; 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You’re about to take the 2:30 train to Chicago,” says the machine.
“But it’s impossible!” screams the man.
He rushes to the toilet and disguises himself as an Arab. Then he does the same routine.
“You’re John Bull from New York; an accountant; 5.9 feet tall and 90 kilos. You’re about to take the 2:30 train to Chicago.”
Furious, he then disguises himself as a woman and inserts a dollar inside the slot.
“You’re John Bull; an accountant; 5.9 feet tall, 90 kilos. And with your stupidity, you’ve missed the train!”
The blonde wife came home from her first day commuting into the city.
Her husband noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, “Honey, are you feeling all right?”
“Not really,” she replied. “I’m nauseated from sitting backward on the train.”
“Poor dear,” he said. “Why didn’t you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?”
“I couldn’t,” she replied, “there was no one there.”
A passenger train is creeping along slowly.
Finally, it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking outside.
‘What’s going on?’ she yells out of the window.
‘Cow on the track!’ replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walking outside. She leans out of the window and yells,
‘What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?’
