The doctor finished his examination and asked the patient to step into his office.
“Sit down, Mr. Kay sen. After looking at these test results, I recommend that you have an operation immediately.”
The man thought for a moment, “How will this affect my hobby, Doctor?”
“What’s your hobby?”
“Saving money!”
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I was at the customer-service desk, returning a pair of jeans that was too tight.
“Was anything wrong with them?” the clerk asked.
“Yes,” I said. “They hurt my feelings.”
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Lady patient says to Doctor inside his examination room:
“Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable.”
Doctor: Trust me lady, I am a gentleman.
Lady patient: No Sir, that’s not the issue. Your beautiful receptionist is alone outside and my husband is neither.
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Patient 1: ‘Why did you run away from the operation table?’
Patient 2: ‘The nurse was repeatedly saying ‘don’t get nervous’, ‘don’t be afraid’, ‘be strong’, ‘this is a small operation only’, and things like that.’
Patient 1: ‘So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?’
Patient 2: ‘She was talking to the surgeon!’
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There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP.”
It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we waken in the morning, why do we wake UP. At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends, we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special, and this is confusing. A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP. To be knowledgeable of the proper uses of UP, look UP the word in the dictionary. In a desk size dictionary, UP takes UP almost 1/4th the page and definitions add UP to about thirty.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it doesn’t rain for a while, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so I’ll shut UP.
