During her company’s periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password:
GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix
When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said,
“The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital.”
Man: What’s the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Man: Okay, I’ll have a coke.
Barman: Is Pepsi okay?
Man: Sure. How much is that?
Barman: £3.
Man: There you go. So what’s the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first… No spaces, all lowercase!
Doctor: “I have your MRI results.”
Patient: “Is my brain functioning normally?”
Doctor: “No. Half your brain is clogged with usernames and the other half is clogged with passwords.”
One day a blond walks into a doctor’s office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asks her what had happened. She says, “Well… when I was ironing my work suit, the phone rang and I mistakenly picked up the iron, instead of the phone.
“Well, that explains one ear, but what about the other?”
“The idiot called again!”
A mom texts, “Hi Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?” He texts back,
“I Don’t Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later.”
The mom texts him, “It’s ok, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister, love you too.”
The father is telling his son stories to help him sleep.
The only sound is the murmur of dad’s voice. Two hours pass, and there’s silence in the room.
The mother creeps to the door and whispers, “Is he asleep, dear?”
“Yes, Mommy,” says her son.
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby.
“This,” she said, “I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?”
“No, Madam,” replied the attendant. “That one’s called a mirror.”
A central banker walks into a pizzeria to order a pizza.
When the pizza is done, he goes up to the counter get it.
There a clerk asks him: “Should I cut it into six pieces or eight pieces?”
The central banker replies: “I’m feeling rather hungry right now. You’d better cut it into eight pieces.”
Tim: I wish I had the money to buy an elephant.
Tom: What do you want with an elephant?
Tim: Nothing, I just want the money.
