One day in class, Mr. Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test and said, “Johnny, I have a feeling that you have been cheating in your tests.”
Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it.
“Well,” said Mr. Johnson, “I was looking over your test. The question was ‘Who was our first president?’, and the little girl who sits next to you, Mary, put ‘George Washington’ and so did you.”
“So, everyone knows that he was the first president.”
“Well, just wait a minute,” said Mr. Johnson. “The next question was, ‘Who freed the slaves?’ Mary put ‘Abraham Lincoln’ and so did you.”
“Well, I read the history book last night and I remembered that,” said Johnny.
“Wait, wait,” said Mr. Johnson. “The next question was, ‘Who was the president during the Louisiana Purchase?’ Mary put ‘I don’t know’ and you put ‘Me neither’.”
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Not Easy To Be A Teacher
Teacher: Construct a sentence using the word sugar.
Pupil: I drank tea this morning.
Teacher: Where is the word sugar.
Pupil: It is already in the tea…!!!
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TEACHER: Our topic for today is Photosynthesis.
TEACHER: Class, what is photosynthesis?
Student: Photosynthesis is our topic today.
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TEACHER: John is climbing a tree to pick some mangoes. (Begin the sentence with Mangoes)
Student: Mangoes, John is coming to pick you…
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TEACHER: What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
Student: We don’t call them, they come on their own…
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TEACHER: Name the nation, people hate most.
Student: Exami-nation…
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TEACHER: How can we keep our school clean?
Student: By staying at home…
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TEACHER: One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
Student: Future impossible tense…
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Little Johnny was at the mall with his mother when a man came walking toward them.
Little Johnny hopped up and down, laughed, pointed, and screamed, “Mommy! Look at that bowlegged man!”
His mother was so embarrassed. “Johnny, your manners are atrocious! You need some culture, young man!”
For the next month Little Johnny was forced to read Shakespeare every night. When his detention was finally over, she again took him to the same mall and sure enough, the same bowlegged man came walking toward them.
Had Little Johnny learned anything from the great bard? Yes.
This time, as the man approached, Little Johnny cried out, “Hark! What manner of man is this me sees, who wears his balls in parentheses?”
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So one day, Grandma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the waterhole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen.
“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that water hole, Grandma” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
