Collecting coupons
Ms. Warner: “Well, how are you getting on in your new eight room house?”
Ms. Kyle: “Oh, not so badly. We furnished one of the bedrooms by collecting soap coupons.”
Ms. Warner: “Didn’t you furnished the other seven rooms?”
Ms. Kyle: “We can’t. They are full of the soap.”
A new business was opening and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, which said: “Rest in Peace.” The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied: “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this – somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying:
“Congratulations on your new location!”
A young businessman had just started his own firm.
He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man coming into the outer office. Wishing to appear a hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor, “Can I help you?”
The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines!”
A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing.
On the last day the departing manager tells him, “I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can’t solve.”
Three months down the track there is major drama, everything goes wrong – the usual stuff – and the manager feels very threatened by it all.
He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says “Blame your predecessor!”
He does this and gets off the hook.
About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems.
The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize!”
This he does, and the company quickly rebounds.
Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope.
The message inside says “Prepare three envelopes…”
A man walks into a chemist’s and says,
“Can I have a bar of soap, please?”
The chemist says, “Do you want it scented?”
And the man says, “No, I’ll take it with me now.”
