A Successful Marriage
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, “Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids.”
A man and a woman had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife’s bedside.
She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents.
“When we were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.
“Honey,” he said “that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?”
“Oh, that?” she said. “That’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”
John brought his new colleague, Peter, home for dinner.
As they arrived at the door his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John and kissed him passionately.
“My goodness,” said Peter, “and how long have you been married?”
“22 years,” replied John.
“You must have a fantastic marriage if your wife greets you like that after all those years.”
“Don’t be fooled! She only does it to make the dog jealous.”
Son: Mommy, why are all the cars beeping their horns?
Mother: Because there’s a wedding going on.
Son: But isn’t the horn a warning signal, Mommy?
Mother: Exactly, son.
Jill and John got married.
John thought this would be a ‘marriage of the 90’s’ — equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn’t impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, ‘Poached? I wanted scrambled!’
Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn’t having any of it. ‘Do you think I don’t like variety? I wanted poached this morning!’
