A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket.
She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl,
“Nothing but the best for my little kitten.”
The girl at the cash register said,
“I’m sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying the cat food for your cat.”
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
The next day, the old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies.
The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that old people sometimes eat dog food.
Frustrated she went home, came back and brought in her dog. She was then given the dog cookies.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid.
The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.
The cashier said, “No, you might have a snake in there.”
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her.
So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, “That smells like crap.”
The little old lady grinned from ear to ear,
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“Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?”
Never fool around with a Little old lady!
A sixth-grade class is doing some spelling drills.
A sixth-grade class is doing some spelling drills.
The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell ‘before.’
He stands up and says, “Before, B-E-P-H-O-R.”
The teacher says, “No, that’s wrong. Can anyone else spell before?”
Another little boy stands up and says, “Before, B-E-F-O-O-R.”
Again the teacher says, “No, that’s wrong.” The teacher asks, “Little Johnny, can you spell ‘before’?”
Little Johnny stands up and says, “Before, B-E-F-O-R-E.”
“Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?”
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Little Johnny says, “That’s easy. Two plus two be fore.”
