Jim and Edna are both mental patients.
One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn’t come up for air.
Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out.
Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes “Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane ‘saving anothers life’. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim h*nged himself in the bathroom …”
“Oh no” Edna replies, “that’s where I put him to dry!”
Two men are in a lunatic asylum and one night, they decide they don’t like living in an asylum any more.
They decide they’re going to escape! They get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight to freedom.
The first man jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn’t dare make the leap, afraid of falling. So then, the first man has an idea…
He says, ‘Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I’ll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!’
The second man immediately spots the problem with this and shakes his head.
“What do you think I am? Crazy? You’d turn it off when I was half way across!”
Hell in a cell
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
“Well!” said the Director. “We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand!” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”
“No.” said the Director. “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?”
