It was Saturday morning and Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season.
He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.
Jake asks her, “What are you up to?”
Alice smiles, “I’m going hunting with you!”
Jake, though he has many reservations, reluctantly decides to take her along.
They arrive at the hunting site. Jake sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her, “If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.”
Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn’t bag an elephant — much less a deer.
But not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming, “Get away from my deer!”
Confused, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell, “Get away from my deer!” followed by another volley of gunfire.
Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says, “Okay, lady, okay! You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off it!”
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A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law.
One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.
In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife cried, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said the hunter-husband. “That lion got himself into this mess; let him get himself out of it.”
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A Duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree.
Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.
“Who is this incredibly fine archer?” cried the duke. “I must find him!”
After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow. Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.
“You didn’t just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?” asked the duke worriedly.
“No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy.”
“That is truly astonishing,” said the duke. “I hereby admit you into my service.”
The boy thanked him profusely.
“But I must ask one favor in return,” the duke continued. “You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot.”
“Well,” said the boy, “first I fire the arrow at the tree… …and then I paint the target around it.”
