A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work.
As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
“We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend.
“I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?”
“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, three doctors are there already!”
The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the examination was complete, he said: “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”
“Okay,” said the man.
“Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.
He put a sign up outside that said: “Get your treatment for $500 – if not cured, get back $1,000.”
Doctor “Young,” who was positive that this old geezer didn’t know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000.
He went to Dr Geezer’s clinic and this is what happened.
Dr Young: “Dr Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me?
Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr Young’s mouth.”
Dr Young: “Aaagh! This is Gasoline!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your taste back. That will be $500.”
Dr Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: “I have lost my memory and I cannot remember anything.”
Dr Geezer: “Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient’s mouth.”
Dr Young: “Oh no you don’t, that’s Gasoline!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You’ve got your memory back. That will be $500.”
Dr Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.
Dr Young: “My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!”
Dr Geezer: “Well, I don’t have any medicine for that. Here’s your $1000 back.”
Dr Young: “But this is only $500!”
Dr Geezer: “Congratulations! You have got your vision back! That will be $500.”
