No no for jewelry
As a man serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let him know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale.
“I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something,” she suggested.
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” he answered.
“A handsome man like you and you don’t have a girlfriend? Why not?”
“My wife won’t let me.”
Pain in Wife’s neck
Husband: What happened honey?
Wife: I have severe neck pain.
Husband: I’m going out to shop. Do you need anything for your neck?
Wife: Yeah. One necklace!
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.”
The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”
“Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say: “So, how long have you been wearing one?”
“Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
“Oh, I really liked it”, she said, “but I just couldn’t understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents.”
Surprised, the boyfriend asked: “What do you mean?”
The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was: “Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!”
Three guys are at a restaurant, all with their girlfriends.
The first guy, thinking he is all suave, says to his girlfriend, “Could you pass me the honey?…Honey.”
Now, the second guy, copying the first, says to his girlfriend, “Could you pass me the sugar?…Sugar.”
So now, the third guy is under pressure. He has to come up with something good.
After, a minute of thinking he says to his girlfriend, “Pass me the pork…pig.”
