As a man grew a beard his wife said,
“That beard looks ugly.”
He replied, “I’m growing a beard to keep the girls away.”
She laughed, “There aren’t any girls around.”
“There,” he quipped, “it’s working already.”
A wife asked her husband:
“What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?”
He looked at her from head to toe and replied:
“I like your sense of humor.”
Michael’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old,
goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.
After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asks her husband – “Darling, honestly, if you didn’t know me, what age would you say I am?”
Looking over her carefully, Michael replied…
“Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.”
“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed.
Just as she was about to tell Michael his reward, he stops her by saying:
“WHOA, hold on there sweetie… I haven’t added them up yet!”
P.S – Please let us know if you’ve seen him, we’re very worried.
Absolute Classic!
Lady patient says to Doctor inside his examination room:
“Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable.”
Doctor: Trust me lady, I am a gentleman.
Lady patient: No Sir, that’s not the issue. Your beautiful receptionist is alone outside and my husband is neither.
At a dinner party,
the speaker who was the guest of honour was about to deliver his speech when his wife, who was sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word “KISS” scribbled on it.
A guest seated next to the speaker said, “It looks like your wife has sent you a kiss for good luck. She must love you very much.”
The speaker replied, “You don’t know my wife.
The letters stand for “Keep it short, stupid.”
