A teacher puts a photograph of a tomcat on the blackboard, and proceeds to ask the class, if they can tell her how the tail is attached to the cat.
Little Mary has the first attempt and answers, “By fur Miss?”
The teacher replies, “Not quite right Mary, but a good try.”
Meanwhile all during the lesson, Little Johnny is sitting down the back raising his hand in the air saying, “Me Miss!, me miss!”
The next student the teacher’s picks is Peter, and he answers, “Is it attached by skin Miss?”
The teacher replies, “Not quite right either Peter … Anyone else want to try?”
Finally, the teacher had no choice but to pick Little Johnny. She said to Johnny, “What do you think the tail is attached by?”
Johnny replied, “Judging by the size of those nuts on the cat … I’d say it would have to be bolted on!”
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The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up.
A chorus of responses came from all over the room.
“A football player.”
“A doctor.”
“An astronaut.”
“The president.”
“A fireman.”
“A teacher.”
“A race car driver.”
Everyone that is, except Little Johnny. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet and still.
So she said to him, “Johnny, what do you want to be when you grow up?”
“Possible” Little Johnny replied.
“Possible?” asked the teacher.
“Yes,” Little Johnny said. “My mom is always telling me I’m impossible. So when I get to be big, I want to be possible.”
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Not Easy To Be A Teacher
Teacher: Construct a sentence using the word sugar.
Pupil: I drank tea this morning.
Teacher: Where is the word sugar.
Pupil: It is already in the tea…!!!
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TEACHER: Our topic for today is Photosynthesis.
TEACHER: Class, what is photosynthesis?
Student: Photosynthesis is our topic today.
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TEACHER: John is climbing a tree to pick some mangoes. (Begin the sentence with Mangoes)
Student: Mangoes, John is coming to pick you…
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TEACHER: What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
Student: We don’t call them, they come on their own…
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TEACHER: Name the nation, people hate most.
Student: Exami-nation…
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TEACHER: How can we keep our school clean?
Student: By staying at home…
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TEACHER: One day our country will be corruption free. What tense is that??
Student: Future impossible tense…
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A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher for 16 – 18 year olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun, kicking a football.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
‘Are you ok?’ she asks.
‘Yes,’ he replies.
‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says.
‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says.
‘Why’s that, sweetie?’ asks the blonde..
The boy looks at her incredulously and says:
“Because I’m the goal keeper!”
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Judi went to a “Dude Ranch” on vacation.
The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle.
Judi asked what the difference was.
“Well,” said the cowboy, “one has a horn and the other doesn’t.”
Judi thought about it for a second and answered, “Just get the one without the horn. I don’t think we’ll run into too much traffic out here.”
