MR. GRAVES scans the classroom.
His eyes land on one student slouching in his chair.
MR. GRAVES: “Johnny.”
(JOHNNY, a wide-eyed, daydreaming 5th grader, freezes. He slowly lifts his head.)
MR. GRAVES: “Define energy.”
The room goes still. A single cough echoes in the silence. A fly zips past the window. The pressure is intense. Johnny gulps.
JOHNNY: “Um… I… I don’t remember the whole definition.”
MR. GRAVES (raising an eyebrow): “Then what do you remember?”
JOHNNY (nervously): “Just the last part. The end of the definition.”
MR. GRAVES (leaning in): “Very well. Let’s hear it.”
Johnny swallows. The class stares. He gathers all the courage he can muster.
JOHNNY (solemnly): “…and this is called energy.”
Little Johnny was going to his fathers house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.
He was walking with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill. He started up the hill but was constantly swearing “This damn thing is so heavy.”
A priest heard him and came out. “You shouldn’t be swearing” said the priest. “God hears you…He is everywhere…He’s in the chruch…He’s on the sidewalk…He’s everywhere.”
Then Little Johnny says: “Oh is he in my Wagon?”
The priest replies: “Yes Johnny, God is in your Wagon.”
Little Johnny says: “Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling.”
So one day, Grandma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the waterhole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him.
He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Grandma’s kitchen.
“Well now, where’s my bucket and where’s my water?” Grandma asked him.
“I can’t get any water from that water hole, Grandma” exclaimed Johnny. “There’s a BIG ol’ alligator down there!”
“Now don’t you mind that ol’ alligator, Johnny. He’s been there for a few years now, and he’s never hurt no one. Why, he’s probably as scared of you as you are of him!”
“Well, Grandma,” replied Johnny, “if he’s as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain’t fit to drink!”
Employee: “Hi welcome to McDonald’s what can I get you today.”
Little Johnny: “Can I get some McWater, A McNumber10, and a McCoke.”
Employee: “Sir you know you don’t have to put Mc in front of anything you order.”
Little Johnny: “Ok I just really like Donald’s.”
Employee: “Sir its McDonald’s.”
Little Johnny: “Ma’am you don’t have to put Mc in front of everything.”
