There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole.
They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse.
Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, “Mmmm, I smell sausage!”
Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, “Mmmm, I smell pancakes!”
Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn’t because of the two bigger moles.
Baby mole said, “The only thing I smell is molasses.”
An 80-year-old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the man is in and asks, ‘How do you stay in such great physical condition?’
‘I’m Italian and I am a golfer,’ says the old guy, ‘and that’s why I’m in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and go out golfing up and down the fairways.’
‘Well,’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?’
‘Who said my dad’s dead?’
The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your dad’s still alive. How old is he?’ ‘He’s 100 years old,’ says the golfer. ‘In fact, he golfed with me this morning.’
‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your dad’s dad? How old was he when he died?’
‘Who said my grandpa’s dead?’
Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather is still alive! Incredible! How old is he?’
‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point. ‘So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?’
‘No. Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married tomorrow.’
At this point, the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting married! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?’
‘Who said he wanted to?’
