A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago:
“The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have k i lled most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Food is loaded with MSG.
Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
“But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, “Wedding cake.”
The Bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.
The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced: ” Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life.”
Then he raised his hands with what is his daughter gave him and said,
“My daughter has finally returned my Credit Card to me!!!” The whole audience burst into laughter.
Except the Groom.
At a friends’ wedding reception,
the groom stood to say a few words.
He turned to his bride’s mother. “You’ve given me a gift,” he began, “a gift that…”
Here he paused in thought, whereupon his mother-in-law completed the sentence,
“That you can’t return!”
Shortly before our 25th wedding anniversary, my husband sent 25 long-stemmed yellow roses to me at my office.
A few days later, I plucked all the petals and dried them.
On our anniversary night, I spread the petals over the bed and lay on top of them, wearing only a nightgown.
As I’d hoped, I got a reaction from my husband.
When he saw me, he shouted: “Are those potato chips?”
