Absence!
Father: Why did you get such a low score in that exam?
Son: Absence!
Father: You were absent on the day of the exam?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!
Last semester, I took macroeconomics and didn’t have a clue what I was doing (as cited in the final exam).
There were 80 multiple choice questions. For some reason, I decided to play the game of probability and chose the letter “A” for everything. In that game, the only thing probable was that I failed.
The following day, the professor asked to see me after class. “Is everything okay?” “Sure,” I said, “why?”Well, here’s your test,” he said and handed me a piece of paper that was covered with red ink. “Can you explain why you chose an ‘A’ for everything,”
Knowing that there was nothing I could do at that point, I said, “Well, I’ve always wanted to be an ‘A’ student.”
Hapless student
A student submits his essay to his teacher. A few days later, the teacher returns in with a single note: Needs Improvement.
So the student makes a few changes and resubmits it. Again, the teacher returns it with the single note: Needs Improvement.
This time, the student pores over it, double checks every word, adds every reference he can find, and adjusts the layout to make it more readable. He walks into his teacher’s office and says, “I have done everything I possible can, this is absolutely perfect.”
The teacher takes it from him and says, “Okay, I guess I’ll actually read it this time.”
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam.
“Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family – but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!”
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s*xu*l exhaustion?”
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says,
“Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”
