Bob and Jim are walking to services.
Bob asks, “I wonder whether it would be all right to smoke while praying?”
“Why don’t you ask the rabbi?” says Jim.
Bob sees the Rabbi and asks, “Rabbi, is it permissible for me to smoke while I pray?”
“No, you may not. That’s utterly disrespectful to our tradition!” answers the rabbi.
Bob goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him.
“I’m not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”
Jim goes over to the Rabbi and asks, “Rabbi, would it be ok if I prayed while I smoke?”
To which the Rabbi eagerly replies, “By all means, my good man. By all means.”
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Two Jewish men knock on Rabbi Levi’s door.
“What can I do for you gentlemen?” Said the Rabbi once he opened his door.
They explain to him they have an argument and cannot resolve it. The Rabbi agrees to help them.
“What is the argument about?” he asks.
First Man: “Black is a color!”
Second Man: “NO! it is not!”
First Man: “It is a color!”
Second Man: “Rabbi, is black a color?”
“Well, sure…” Said the confused Rabbi.
First Man: “See, I told you. And so is white!”
Second Man: “White is not a color!”
First Man: “Rabbi?”
Rabbi: “Well, yes, white is a color.”
First Man: “See? I told you Moishe, I sold you a Color TV!”
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A rabbi and his two friends, a priest and a minister, played poker for small stakes once a week.
The only problem was that they lived in a very conservative blue-law town. The sheriff raided their game and… took all three before the local judge.
After listening to the sheriff’s story, the judge sternly inquired of the priest: “Were you gambling, Father?”
The priest looked toward heaven, whispered, “Oh, Lord, forgive me!” and then said aloud: “No, your honor, I was not gambling.”
“Were you gambling, Reverend?” the judge asked the minister.
The minister repeated the priest’s actions and said, “No, your honor, I was not.”
Turning to the third clergyman, the judge asked: “Were you gambling, Rabbi?”
The rabbi eyed him coolly and replied, “With whom?”
