A young girl who was writing a paper for school came to her father and asked,
“Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?”
The father replied, “It is mostly a matter of degree. Let me show you what I mean.”
With that the father went to the telephone and dialed a number at random. To the man who answered the phone, he said, “Hello, is Melvin there?”
The man answered, “There is no one living here named Melvin. Why don’t you learn to look up numbers before you dial?”
“See,” said the father to his daughter. “That man was not a bit happy with our call. He was probably very busy with something and we annoyed him. Now watch…”
The father dialed the number again. “Hello, is Melvin there?” asked the father.
“Now look here!” came the heated reply. “You just called this number and I told you that there is no Melvin here. You’ve got lot of guts calling again!” The receiver slammed down hard.
The father turned to his daughter and said, “You see, that was anger. Now I’ll show you what exasperation means.”
He dialed the same number, and a violent voice roared, “Hello!”
The father calmly said, “Hello, this is Melvin! Have there been any calls for me?”
Carolyn, a rich blond, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport.
She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won’t move at all…
After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out a technician to her.
The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it. So he turns to the blonde and asks, “Ma’am, are you sure you are using the right gears?”
Full of anger, the blonde replies, “How on earth you could ask such a question!? I’m not stupid you know! Of course I am using the right gears; I use D during the day and N at night.”
I was preparing to go cash a paycheck
when I realized my husband hadn’t signed it. So I sent our four-year-old daughter upstairs to “get Daddy’s name on the back of it.”
She came back, handed it to me, and said, “I knew his name so I did it myself.”
On the back of the check, she had printed, “D-A-D”.
My daughter hates school.
One weekend, she cried and fretted and tried every excuse not to go back on Monday.
Sunday morning on the way home from brunch, the crying and whining built to a crescendo.
At the end of my rope, I finally stopped the car and explained, “Honey, it’s a law. If you don’t go to school, they’ll put daddy in jail.”
She looked at me, thought for a moment, then asked, “How long would you have to stay?”
Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle.
As they reached the stage, the bride placed something in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering what was given by the bride to her father.
The father could feel suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life!’
Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and continued, ‘My daughter finally, finally returned my credit card to me.’
The whole audience started laughing….
But not the poor groom.
