An old farmer was hauling a load of manure when he was stopped by a state trooper. “You were speeding,” the cop said. “I’m going to have to give you a ticket.”
“Yep,” the farmer said as he watched the trooper shoo away several flies.
“These flies are terrible,” the trooper complained.
“Yep,” the farmer said. “Those are circle flies.”
“What’s a circle fly?”
“Them flies that circle a horse’s ass,” answered the farmer. “Them are circle flies.”
“You wouldn’t be calling me a horse’s ass, would you?” The trooper angrily asked.
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..
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“Nope, I didn’t,” the farmer replied. “But you just can’t fool them flies.”
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A drunk man gets on a bus
This drunk gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork.
About two hours,” says the conductor.
“OK,” says the drunk “then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?”
The irate driver says to the drunk “It’s still about two hours.
Why’d you think there’d be a difference?”
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..
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“Well,” says the drunk, “It’s only a week between Christmas and New Year, but it’s a long time between New Year and Christmas!”
